warmlove's Diaryland
Diary
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Wont you take me out?
*If I'd been out till quarter to three / Would you lock the door, / Will you still need me, will you still feed me, / When I'm sixty-four?*
Running across Clapham Common until I feel sick, then clomping along, out-of-breath in my heavy, wonky trainers that are meant to tone... something... though that has definitely has been off-set by the four double chocolate cookies I have just scoffed.
Been working in the posh, all formal receptionist job which aint been too bad, nice to be all sat in a wheely, wheely chair at a computer after 8 years of stand-up jobs, one year of which in the heels of pain. Though I am sooo grateful that I can leave the prison (grateful for well, well paid employment don't get me wrong)of career-laddery 9-5 office work in a month and a half's time cos I am definitely not cut out for it..Being all 'sir' madam' and disgustingly, painfully polite aint for me for week after week..I will end up ripping my bun off and screaming from the roof of The Gherkin. I do Saturday still squirting the perfumes so Sunday is me only day of leisure..I feel the need to go out properly Saturday night then have Sunday to recover and bob up and down in an attempt to shed some cookie flab. I can't be arsed to arrange nights out..other people should do it and invite me..fuckers, I could be all sad and alone and lonely in Clapham or have bloody moved to Wigan already without saying goodbye..I hate having to pre-book my mates 3 weeks in advance and then end up not doing what we were gonna do in the first place, people are such Lunchers.I'm sure I'd know if certain friends just didn't like spending time with me..who knows, maybe I'm a right pain in the arse....It's bad enough when this aloof distance thing happens with blokes, let alone feeling that you are hasseling your friends into meeting up with you.Maybe this is the price u pay when u spread yourself too thin. Though Sparkles is back in London, will try and hang out with her loads before I go, missed her loads..I bet Andrew and Kat come back to London the week I leave for the new mean streets of Lancashire.
Can't believe I'm meant to be moving up in 7 weeks that's insane. As long as all the people in my year haven't all bonded their faces off on The Facebook and have all found houses already and ill swan in on the accommodation days all out the loop (and the oldest with the worst funny stories and song to sing). I did see another ALRA show, was good, not as incredible as Junk..it was awkward as hell cos Camise was so late she missed it so wasn't even there to meet up with me when the show ended..I was there alone, had no idea if any future other North students where there in the audience too, asked a group of well cliquey girls if any of them were new student in September, they weren't and weren't that friendly as a matter of fact so I siddled off to wait for Camise cos I was gonna meet up with her for food after she had driven back, so waiting in the rain at the bottom of the drive I looked like a mad loner at a drama school show looking for friends. Cringe, and sigh.
x
10:06 p.m. - 2011-07-09
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