warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Driving Theory & Lesbian pubes

#I'm in love with you/You silly thing/Anyone can see# I'm singing oooo Praise Be-jesus!I tooketh my Driving Theory test and I passethed my Driving Theory test! Woo hoo. One step closer to getting my driving license back (a new, improved and un-revoked me...Thank God...) I didn't think I would pass again cos the night before I only looked at about 10 practice questions and spent the rest of the time reading these short Romance-borderline erotica stories on the Computer....Dont ask, but I think I'm gonna try to make some money by writing some romance novels for the 20-something market....They could sell them in 'Clone Zone' (this gay sex shop in Islington) where I helped shoot a film once.....mo', money, mo' money! Or not....either way I've gotta get enough dollars to buy a cute, reliable car from the mid-70's and to move to London and buy a house to rent/live in. And its got to happen in the next 12 months maximum....mmmm, where's the best paying Brothel in the South-West??

Work was great today. Flew by and the gave us these forms where you have to get find out, from 100 of your customers, their name, their favourite drink, and an interesting fact about them. I thought that was the coolest thing. There's Mr Mahoney, from Ireland originally, 70-odd, favourite drink is John Smiths and interestingly enough he has come into the pub every single day since it re-opened two years ago. There's a lady who likes red wine and is, fascinatingly, a lesbian. Her friend who signed up as my customer #6...um...I cant actually remember her beverage, but she informed me in orange felt pen that she 'Shaves her pubes.' A grand old day all round. Waiting for my lift home I overheard a boy (with a bunch of Kappa and baseball cap dessed friends) go "Yeah, its right past that Pakki Shop." So I say, loudly "Oh, Pakki Shop! That's really nice isn't it? Fucking hell!" (the last part I did with my best drama school anger which I'm told is pretty believable) It was so funny, the boy dips his head down, really embarrassed and quietly said SORRY to ME!

A man stopped me at The Old George Mall and asked me to buy a tombola ticket to help buy electric wheelchairs for people who need them. He was one of those cheesy people who, when I said "I dont have to fill out any forms do I?", went "No, but you can put your phone number down if you like." It's weird because when some blokes (It's usually way-old border-line perverts unfortunately) are like " uh.. (hic)...have you got a boyfriend then?" I would never have lied say 6 months ago when I didn't have a 'Boyfriend' but now I sometimes say yes even if I dont. I see how, after a while, people in long-term 'proper relationships' lose their independence, confidence, stop spending time with their friends and NEVER go out properly anymore. (Except for my friend Sophie who is the relationship goddess, with the 'You gotta kiss tons of frogs...' wisdom.) I know girls who wont wear a certain lenghth of skirt because their boyfriend doesn't LET THEM and dont go out without their boyfriend because thats the only way they're ALLOWED. WHAT THE FUCK?? Excuse me, but NO!
Actually, whenever I do really like anyone who I feel is special and 'gets' me there always seem to be obstacles like them feeling differently, living millions of miles away and to a greater and more frequent extent, them already having a girlfriend! I could be like that hip-hop video dancer(I've got the braided hair for it now) who went off to limos and rooms at parties and had sex with guys like Jay-Z, R Kelly, Nelly and Usher. (this aint allegedlly - lady wrote a book.)They'd all have official girlfriends or even more girls dotted around town to service their needs. Morals, sporals I always say. Although its great how the smart people separate sex from morals and conscience and all that crap. Guess those 'smart' people are girls with Chlamidia and other people's angry girlfriends in New Look Uggs chasing after them. Who knows? Regardless, my motto remains: Old men=Ew men (for sexual purposes, that is... I'm not an ageist)

L x