warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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When The World stopped doing what it did

#we can work from home, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh/Lets put into motion/imma give you a promotion#

First, I have been thinking of and hoping everything will be alright for Karen's Mum in An Isolation ICU on a ventilator. Karen can't see her or hug her or talk to her and I cant imagine how fucking terrible that must be. I've got no words...I just hope that she'll pull through . That story, is the same for, it might end up being thousands...maybe me included, of families and people who have loved ones..and that's where my mind is focused not on "oooh, it's so hard being a Graphic Designer having to sit in my jice flat, eating and Skyping, knowing that my billl's will be sorted through this".

That said, of course, things that make us laugh and smile and inspire us are important to get us through...

Two texts sum up this thing right now:
The first one from Phoebe in LA really brought a smile to my face and I will get it put on a mug.

Dreaming of the outside
The hugs
The wine
The lakes
The sun
The shade
The bikes
The shags
The late night food stops
The trains
The faces you’ve never seen before
The faces you see all the time
The needing a wee but not knowing where a toilet is
The satisfying your spontaneous side with the purchase of a new lip liner
The wearing the wrong outfit for the weather
The wearing the bossest outfit and being fit as fuck
The working through a 12 hour shift with a hanging rock solid brain
The turning up to work surprisingly fresh
The boxing
The auditions
The yoga with other people where you haven’t got your bed to lean on
The feeling of being late
I don’t even fucking know.
Last night I dreamt about horses and my aunty.
I always dream about horses. I recommend it.
2nd text back to Phoebe today just my feeling today about some of the USA's response to this :
It feels like an arrogance of a nation saying: "We are strong, we are superior, Greatest Nation on Earth, we SHIT democracy so we can't possibly be decimated by this like some 3rd Rate 'shit hole' nation might have been devastated by Ebola...carry on Wonderful Wall Street, Carry on "

Seeing that local councils have been instructed to house everyone sleeping rough by the end of the week. And the comment made by someone at a Homelessness charity that you can't then turf them all out 'after this is INSERT THE CLICHE' made me think that would be a truly good change to come from all this. Seeing a Tory government have to make sure that (almost) everyone is sorted to live a basic life of financial okayness has been a perfect antidote to them getting back in in December in that grim landslide. I just hope this is that shake-up to change everything. I mean I'm not a fucking expert on anything...not geopolitics , the stockmarket, economics are virology ....

House situation in this time is thankfully pretty good Thanks to Jack, shiny, wonderful Jack becoming unofficial Housemate #4....his warmth, creativity, fun has been a really saving grace, even if Sara does wring his neck for being a scattered (I gave him a yellow flower pot to put all of his shit in...a Day Pot we call it, where he can squirrel away his eye cream, Golden Virginia and wig glue...long story)
Alex has said some disgustingly racist stuff when I have conveniently been out the house so i will be cordial (such a stupid word, that why is it the same as bloody squash?) to her but IVE GOT HER NUMBER...we are also very different people...she does constantly talk about the most inane, mundane obvious stuff but that that's cute and sweet compared to her toxic ignorance and I do wonder if she is truly phoney and trys to manipulate people to see her as a sweet, kind person when she is way more malevolent. But these are questions to get answered by the the end of LoCkDoWn. I'm not missing the pub or going out you know. I feel like I have time for all the things big and small I didnr have time for before.
Nefertiti is rolling on nicely...i have a feeling in my belly that we will get to a next level of funded making her on a bigger scale...got into a festival...now postponed (fingers xed) to August.

Video chatted to Ana and her amazing baby Alma! So great to see her face again and I love how having a baby with her boyfriend (who's a Director) happened and they are making feature films together...see you can do both these things!

Georgia came out of The Forest of Flake and we had a video chat as predictably on again-off again boyfriend made one of his Super Curries in the background. But I have missed that gal

I need to speak to Sparkles...she has been in Lombardy where there have been a huge amount of cases...she was messaging me a few weeks back expressing the gravity of the situation and I ignorantly had the (maybe) arrogance of thinking that would not being something that would occur here.

For me I just keep thinking of Karen and her Mum and the horrific nature of that...me staying in my home is not something I can whine about, no way. I hope our house stay ok but there will be some fall outs I'm sure...but feel I'm in a pretty fortunate situation...Sylv is not all alone bk in Sandleheath any more..she's staying in June's house after a stressful few phone calls as I paced Asda before the 2metre stuff was being enforced with Granma refusing to let her stay (strangely, despite this Sylv housing thing i've had some really lovely phone conversations with her recently) and Andy nervously suggesting that I should come home and stay until the 'situation'..the big, world-wide one...and stay with her. I was geared up to do that at one point...tho I knew it would take some mental triple enforced steel for me but if the alternative was Mum having a total breakdown but luckily for both of us, June changed her mind ...I mean she gets a free Three month tutor and play-mate for Rio....
I'm just hoping for the best in this situation where theres going to be loss and pain...I cant even write it, it sounds to glib. I don't know. You adjust dont you...I feel fortunate... (not to be morbid) for now...

4:18 p.m. - 2020-03-29

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