warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Twenee Twenee....The Grand Dumb EuroLeave

#We slip through the streets
While everyone sleeps
Getting bigger and sleeker
And wider and brighter#

6 months of things a happening since I last wrote.
Theres a bit o a Corona virus come from some Bat soup at a market stall apparently. Went to surprise pick Jack up homebound (completing an Australia to Stockport roundtrip) from Manchester Airport with Sara....we made a glittery banner to greet him saying naturally "welcome back BAD BITCH" was soooo sweet seeing the shock on his face ...he didnt have his glasses on so he got right up to us and the huge pink letters bearing his name before he twigged!!!!!!
Mum has been struggling. Her memory keeps lapsing again and again...shes back in Sandleheath but not living a life at all...shes to depressed or confused to function. Luckily Jess is doing a Celia and driving from Bournemouth for appointments with her at the house, helping her get stuff done. Obviously not anywhere near the same struggle but it is difficult with someone who cant see a light at the end of the tunnel and can only just sit in the misery and pain. Andi put it well when I had a long phone call with her a few months ago...she has us she has her 4 daughters we are here....we are part of a life she has...Celia too and Granma...yes it is beyond shit and beyond sad that Dad has gone...I wish more than anything that he could be here again, I wish they could be having road trips and holidays and DIY and epic gardening pond-building marathons, taking the boys to football with Dad that bit stressed but maybe getting less the older they got, big chats at that big table again, meals out with friends, Christmas's in Manchester with agents dissolved by a tight schedule organised by me , long nights at the pub Dad with me and my mates, all that mundane beautiful stuff.

Christmas was a Phoebe, George, Joe , Gemma and her fabulous, fun parents at Jam Street...spent the day down the pub (weird creamy walnut pear starter) and it then became a beautiful multi-generational dancehall music, youth centre party..Phoebe's back in LA now...mark my words....shes gonna be a hugely successful actor!!!!
Speaking of Christmas...I got this last minute theatre job at a big Huddersfield theatre..script by an award winning writer..tooo gooood to be true!!!!!
After the first week the director and movement quit and over the next two and a half weeks the producer took over and lied to us and avoided us and cancelled sessions and misled us over a new script that only arrived (written by him instead of this award winning writer for some reason....he blamed her for going awol in India) 3 days before the show opened.....e lied about why the director left, didn't give us any notes....was lazy, spoilt, selfish and self involved and I have never been so I'll prepared for anything that I have done I LOOKED LIKE A DUCK BEING THIS KRUMPUS 13 BILLION YEAR OLD TREE DEMON BY JUST HOBBLING AROUND WITH MY HAIR IN BRAIDS COVERING MY FACE and what could have been a beautiful , magical show was an embarrassing, clumsy, boring show....tho it prob wasnt THAT bad BUT apparently they lost £10,000 on it and now this producer (who veeeery suspiciously starts a new company on every show he does and legally takes no responsibility for money lost) says the company is going into administration and I might get my three weeks final payment money of £900!!!!!!! In a month!!!!! Fucked for money as per...but with a place to blame and get angry at...I want to go egg his house in Chorlton...knowing that he will be sat smugly inside with a comfortably full fridge and drinks cabinet and all his bill's paid (much evidence of him and his boyfriend who NOT coincidentally is the ARTIST DIRECTOR OF THE FUCKING THEATRE being loaded....they recently paid for two friends to come on a New York trip with them)
BUT big lesson and I'm not going to do jobs for £300 a week or when my gut screams DONT DO IT IT WILL BE A DISASTER ....I almost quit my bar job for it...which is bleak again now...not just cos its the end of the fun of fancying this very funny, kind, sweet guy who has now left....after I slept with him...not connected. Only a one night stand of course...its me....it wouldnt fit the narrative of this diary for it to become a beautiful, stable love affair tho I'm up for one with someone who likes me and I like them.....that happens (tho I worry that I used up my one opportunity with mr nervous actor)..but that is NUTS....it will all line up in the near future I know...I'm over the 'I don't want a relationship thing's. I'm up for it. The right blah blah blah of course.


Halloween at work...my costume was a hard border.....a EU flag Cape and leotard/ bright yellow tights....a wearable wall built from thin layer of cement utop chicken chicken wire base with mini barbed wire and sad Lego figures being shot at. My make up of course dead, sad eyes, one black eye, tears smeared down my face...great costume...greatly fucked up bizarre sad situation....not much more I can say.

Easy come easy go money, I'm getting my head down with Nefertiti ( cmoooon Channel Four Blaps, Netflix deal, BBC Comedy awards and infinite good career and love life things and trying to avoid hangovers and public vomiting)

X

10:25 p.m. - 2020-01-29

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