warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Good News and George Harrison

*Sunrise doesn't last all morning/ A cloudburst doesn't last all day/
Seems my love is up/ And has left you with no warning*

Drinking, (pricey for me), £6.75 White wine in bed on this autumn evening.

Nice things have been happening recently:

Signed to a new, Manchester acting agency, straight away they got me a self-tape audition for a BBC short film, starring Sue Johnston off of The Royale Family, Jam and Jerusalem, Corrie and everything good and British as The Prime Minister. The part was of her protection Agent...two lines and some action with a gun. And I got the part! So excited!!!!!

Got a paid job filming a short film for BFI Film Academy which happens at work with mates who are actors from work. SO I came in at 10am when I'd usually be making Latte after Latte and putting pizzas on pagers but instead I was getting paid to act! My hair was bit poofy but I think what I was in looked good today!!!!

Was reunited with Remmel after ages...I love him so much and 'reunited' him with his long lost frenemy Jack, who he always used to talk about, who I work with now.

Matt and Brandon were brought up to Manchester for Half Term and Matt's 15th Birthday with their carers. We arranged it as a surprise for me to come to his Birthday meal tonight, I walked into the table they had at Turtle Bay and they both looked so shocked!!! So sweet!

It's that strange thing that Remmel is staying at a hotel, currently, for some promo job he's doing, next door to work and by coincidence Andy, Matt and Brandon's foster carer booked a hotel for them also across the road from work!

I Read Joi, who is now my one and only housemate in our flat in Castlefield, (Beautius) Manchester some diary entry from around this time 6 years ago where she is described as 'the perma-tanned girl' that John, the only guy my age in Drama School who I had a brief 2-night event with in the first few weeks of the course. Joi later went on to have a terrible six-year relationship with him, get engaged to him and then have him break off the wedding six-months before. So interesting to see exactly how I felt then, I haven't changed too much, and I generally maintain positive about the big stuff.

Visited Joel in Glasgow a month and a bit ago. Was lovely. Didn't want to leave him really but its the time pressure of a visit that makes you wish you could just see the person more often without that pressure. Though strange how you can feel sort of romantic-ish feelings for someone you are only friends with. And do things like kiss soberly in the day on a train, have them tell you that it's only six weeks till you will see each other again so "that's not long, is it?". But then have a drink with him and an artist girl he went on a date with and have him feel awkward that we are having a drink with her and his female housemate who he says he expected to be a bitch towards me, his visiting friend who is staying in his bed with him.....hmmmm. But in a way that isn't anything to do with me and him having our connection. I am not in any kind of commitment with this person. This friend. That is what he is. But recently he hasn't been in touch with me after he said that he's getting by and that it is weird for him being away from Manchester and I said I missed him and he said he missed me. Of course we miss each other. We are great friends but I wish I could feel that warmth I feel around him, spending time with him, our adventures. I wonder if he feels the same? He will find a person who is that to him in Glasgow of course, full of interesting, arty people far more magnetic to him than me! But I do worry that he's going through some stuff alone, and crumbling a bit, but hopefully he's got an ally up there. Weirdly, watching this great Documentary about George Harrison, really reminded me so much of him: his energy, creativity, cheekiness and almost the same face!

And the ending about his death and how his spiritual beliefs lead him to feel like he was preparing for death, preparing to be able to leave his body in the most peaceful way. That got me I was, gone, floods of tears! I thought of Dad and how he went. There was such a powerful feeling in that room. I can't even put it into work him in the last day and sitting with him after he had gone. It is something I need to think about that more...I joke "we're all going to die one day..fuck it" but there is such truth and power in that but hard to really live by that.

Met this drunken floppy haired guy out with his mates, who was trying to be an aggressive, Liam Gallagher figure, sticking his fingers up and passers-by and me....but I thought he was quite cute so I was taking the mickey out of him, saying that he was just a sweet guy trying to be a 'football hooligan'. Had an enjoyable shouting match with him...we walked with his mates and I was out with Joi and Phoebe...and when we arrived at the next place he gave me a pep talk about how i was out of control and a disgrace and then he showed me how I should act if I wanted to stand a chance of being let into the next place and I took his advice on board and then pretended to be ask drunk as him. But, of course, he ended up being so pissed that they would't let him in and I saw him and his mate disappear off down the road. Usually that would be it....but Manchester being magical...the friend who escorted him home came back again to the bar, me and him spoke about him and his mate told me that he is a lovely guy, and actually a Primary School Teacher but sometimes when he goes out he gets waaaaay bladdered and is a drunken lunatic. Also that he never gets with women after the last break-up. No chance of a romance. Great! Most certainly my type. I gave him my number to give to, Sam, the drunken Primary School Teacher, if he wanted to get in touch with me. I heard nothing for two weeks, forgot about it. Then he popped up after that, the mate had forgotten he had my number and only remembered at a wedding they were at one Sunday.
Long story short. Met up, got on great, got drunk together, slept together. Was a great 18-ish hours spent with him. He is such a dedicated teacher, oh my God...he has no life and OCD. Gone round his a few times...he started StopTober...a weird time to get to know someone when they're sober and a workaholic. Had a fun disagreement about the point of marriage. I don't really feel away about texting him first, him making me food, watching a terrible Snoop Dogg documentary. I see him as a nightmare for an average woman and probably hopeless in a relationship! Not that I'm special but I am very patient. I am not after anyone more than someone who likes me general personality and wants to have slighty selfish (him) sex with me. A perfect guy for for me to spend time with now because there's so much of him that is so incompatible with me long term, and he is busier than me.

9:10 p.m. - 2017-10-24

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