warmlove's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I want to write in here because I've done it for the past 7 years but it is such an unimaginably terrible, life-destroying this that is happening and I would do anything,anything, anything in the whole world to turn back time and catch it in time or have this just be a bad dream. This is the fucking worst thing that has ever happened, it is not fair..he should be retiring and travelling around the world. It is so difficult to be at home, but time is so precious, I'm in Wigan, until the term finishes, I cant really look forward to third year, and I feel that people forget, to ask me what's wrong? Unless they don't know and I don't feel that I can show if im upset until I just cant help it, though I didn't want Kate to say she'd never seen be cry, I'd been strong up to then...why is it not strong to cry. I think, I'm dodgy at acting, whats the point of doing it to be embarrassedat how bad I am? But, not that this is important, but Dad might never be well enough to come up, see us in stuff. What's the point? I just think I wish he saw me in a great,happy relationship and met him, becoming part of the family, me being part of his family. There's a deeper reason wanting to be in a great relationship -for my family to see it and not worry. 28 is an age to be in a stable relationship that cld lead to marriage even though I wouldn't want to get married.That support from someone who is obligued to do that, I don't always have to be upbeat and happy for them. I don't know what the points or possitives for carrying on are? My family I suppose, but it is awful having to feel like this and know that nothing can fix the problem 7:23 p.m. - 2013-06-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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