warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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More Strange, depressing feedback today!It confirmed my worst fears about myself that I'd say without actually fully believing it!
It made me so angry then suggesting weekly 'step aerobics classes' and singing lessons!! I am paying �9,000 a year for actor training..how the fuck would I afford this extra crap!

I'm apparently clumsy and lack coordination and core strength. Wow. That is news to me. I feel that as, a 11 stone (possibly) 5'5" person I feel like if I jump on the back of a 5'1" 7 stone girl then damage/ squashing could occur. There is nothing wrong with that. I am not a small, light person and I know this. How tragic would it be if I didn't realize this!!

And they asked if I had dyspraxia? Have I had the test. If I do then there's no cure, just to practice dance step routines etc... That really scared me, that I could have had this my whole life and no known. I could explain why I don't pick up steps and that and remember them and my writings messy and I can't juggle and forget things constantly. I'm very disturbed by this.BUT surely you can just be bad at those things without having to have a 'disorder'.... I feel so sad that I feel that how I am is seen as so wrong. I'm scared that I'm just crap at acting and the only thing I can do is be creative like a ten year-old with some glue and glitter!


Positive...Finally , actually finished writing a script I'd been working on....a modern version (5 min play)of Punch and Judy...with The Policeman who eats babies...got the PERFECT people at school to play the parts, Alex Girl Directed it and I also painted and built this life-size almost Punch and Judy set...They performed it a couple of days ago...It was incredible! Just how I imagined it, turned out very funny.(wish id taken pictures or videoed it! It was truly a magic moment!! I have some skill as a writer....but I need to be a good actor or I'm chucking �27,000 and alot of blood, sweat and tears down the drain.

12:48 a.m. - 2012-07-12

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