warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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What happened to The Northen Soul?

*we are beautiful and breakable*

Back in Wigan. Good and bad. Mainly good. 80-20 I'd say. I felt like such an almighty weight had been lifted when I got out of work on the Wednesday and Thursday and could get on a National Express coach to Ringwood. Kat met me at the Starbucks just before and we had a way too short catch-up and she walked me to the bus. I had a great three days back to just live the small town-village life, just doing boring but reassuring things like picking the boys up from school, driving to Salisbury and shopping with Babsie, sitting around drinking tea. I needed it so much. Even if it is quite difficult to talk to Mum and Dad...i feel like they are bored and disinterested when I talk about stuff I do..I know they have bigger stuff on their minds..but they seem often that they are not listening much.

Amazing to come back school even more of a juicy challenge in what we are working on than before Christmas. It was so lovely , also, to hear people say how much they couldn't wait to come back and give me a huge hug!! It wasn't just me that felt almost 'disconnected' to their old life too, other people said stuff like that too. That said..i do feel like some people are closer than i am to others and theirs definately all this coupling up going on. I feel that it's wasted on the 18, 19 year olds because they want to be out all weekend getting wasted and running around, being uber sociable. I'm not saying that I never want go out and sit on the sofa, with my significant other..eating man-sized portions of homemade lasagne (mmmm), but 27 is not a good age to be single in Wigan and at Drama School.
I had a nice moment at the end of Friday night, when everyone else had gone of into Wigans answer to an 'alternative music club'...meaning they play Florence and the machine and The Killers..Oooh! How edgy! Anyway, me and The Non-19 year old, didnt go in and he walked me home and came in for a bit..we just talked for a couple of hours and when Monika got in from the club we were all fake 'Oh, Monika, erm...yeh..nothing happened, we've just been talking.' and then, when she went off to the bathroom from her bedroom we got into her bed and when she came back we were sat pretending to be reading her Theatre Practioner books..but she was quite pissed so she thought she'd interupted a genuinely intimate more funny than it sounds at the time! Feels like there's a little something there..but who knows...it's just nice for a funny man to be non-arrogant, good listener.

Can't put it in words but seeing that Jerusalem play and then Meryl Streep playing Margaret Thatcher made me so, so emotional and excited about acting and makes me want to be really, really good one day..Sounds stupid and I know that i will drive myself crazy aspiring for a standard (or the talent) that might be, ultimately way out of my reach but I don't want to do anything by halves...I think I can get somewhere good but it will take alot of fuck-ups and disappointments along the way.I feel my limitations already
x

8:01 p.m. - 2012-01-15

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