warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Oh so peckish, waiting for funds to clear

#If I could I'd take a gun, aim it at the past and shoot to kill#

Last weekend was wonderful. As a prime-cut red meat example of the Bipolar kinda month May has been thus far.

Although on Friday night I found out half way through time spent having drinks in Hoxton Square that I had spent a good few hours with a young Tory voter. Ugh. Haahah. This unsavoury revalation came from Pav's friend who met us. Can't really reel off a really long, factually accurate list of why I'm so against voting Tory or them 'leading' the country but I just know that it's horrible for the 'elected'leader of the country to be the queens fifth cousin. Also that most of these people in power are from the same, cliquey wealthy, private school, Oxford-Cambridge backgrounds..thats not very representative of the nation. But then few kids wanna grow up to become politicians do they? Anyway..I'm boring myself now.
Saturday night I stupidly (didn't realise at the time) maxed-out my credit card out drinking with my gorgeous Kenny. He was up for a few hours so we went and had drinks in Soho. I'm just waiting for a phonecall from my bank manager informing me that I am over my limit and that it was two transactions at G.A.Y that did it.(I WAS LOOKING FOR UNAVAILABLE MEN, OKAY! MY FAVOURITE TYPE).

THE STRANGER-DANGER REPORT:
Exhibit A
Details: Walking home on Friday I get a gold tooth rimmed road boy "Hey,hey, hey watcha sayin' whatcha saying. Whats ya name girl??" I replied with a thoroughly disapproving "Are you DRUNK?!". Long story short..as I was armed with only a fake name: Annabelle, he followed me into the shop, started harrassing a guy who told him off for bothering me so I had to have a go at road boy for that. It was a bit of a scene.

So I had a great weekend with two people I like a great deal. The week after I had my Birmingham recall audition

-Scabbed and bruised from 1 1/2 movement session where we had to 'become' mice,cats, chimpanzees, a lizard, a chicken, a big cat and a flamingo.

-Movement bloody 'dance' routine we had to do. I HATE that I can't dance, remember sequences or move gracefully. I'm so un-co-ordinated.

-I sung woefully out of tune.

-Fucked up the end of my Shakespeare but not in a massively obvious way..though obviously the panel must have known.

- I realize that I did try my very best..I don't see what I could have done differently other than be born with different vocal chords and a sense of rhythm.

Onwards and upwards. I just wanna be one of those people who were seen as talented and got into drama school. I meet sooooo many people who have got it, go there or went there.
I guess I'll have to be one of those who didn't go but still became a moderately successful working actor. Brede from class said something so sweet. Well, not so much what she said but how she said it. I was moaning about how TALENTED all the people at the Birmingham audition were compared to me. Her face got all serious and she went (in her authoritative Scottish burr) "Noo, noo, there not...You're really good. Really".
And she's a great actress her self, doesn't bullshit and I really respect her so that mean alot.

Needing to distract myself from mentally torturing myself about how I fucked up Birmingham, I went straight to a houseparty after that Lynsey's producing mate was throwing in Highgate. Was fun..I seemed to get 'abandoned' by Lynsey and the two mates she brought along also so I sent about making friends with strangers. There was a sweet gay guy and his Manchunian GBF who were lovely. I inadvertently turned up in costume perfect for the theme of the party which noone had told be about..I turned up in my blue dress with the white stars on the chest, a thick red Wonderwomany belt and a long red plaid cowboy shirt ..turns out it was an American theme..twinkies there and everything! Then I was chatting (up/to) this posh-ish Edinburgian who's Lynsey's mate..I remember riding off down the road on his bike after her screening. I'm sure we were talking about girls and one-night-stands or something where I was disagreeing that all girls want it to become something serious after you've slept together. Anyway..we ended up on the same night bus home, chatting away. Now, the bus was London Bridge bound and I said that I could take a bus from there and get to Bow. He said that I could stay at his house in Angel if I wanted..he offered twice.(Hmm, I am positive that was an invitation, guys don't really invite you back to theres' in the wee hours of the morning when you're on the way to your house anyway) Now I'd heard that this young man is so busy with his career, life etc.. that he scheduled 'getting laid' once a year, all efficient like and as soon as him and the lady are done, they are sent home..no disingenuous spooning, sleeping or small-talk. A girl gets no S's..just an oyster card and a lonely night-bus ride home. Anyway, this was 4.30am and I had a Director's Workshop at 9am in East London. And also Mother Nature was visiting for long weekend..so I physically couldn't..Efficient Scottish sex will have to wait...

Like a popular, if not a little lumpy, boat of gravy once sang: I've gone and saaaavved the..etc...

Today, after one year and seven months and plenty of ups and downs and ups and sideways and hungovers and seething anger and belly laughs and tears I HANDED IN MY NOTICE AT OASIS! Yess! YEsss! Yesss. I am well happy but it hasn't sunk in yet....I got that job at the super flexible, well-paying agency where they send you all clad in black suit, pearls and lashings of red lippy to slog your guts out at Harrods and Selfridges and Harvey Nicholls etc.. Freeeedooooommm! Though, yes I know it is still retail but it is a job where the expect you to and support you when you go and audition for acting jobs! That air of expectation can only be a good vibe! Hopefully I can sort my pathetic money situation out now and not be a tube-blagging, house-mate food stealing, credit card debt-getting into loser! Next stop..new North London House and lashings of auditions! Spiffing. (Ugh..Famous Five relapse)
x

10:03 p.m. - 2010-05-26

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