warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Dizzy Summer Smells

*I wake up every day its a daydream/ everything in my life aint what it seems *

Edinburgh was the best thing I've ever done since..erm....since moving to smelly London pretty much.
It was the most undescribably, crazily, strangely, lovely, exhausting, irritat-ingley, hilarious...most importantly
hilarious..I have NEVER laughed so hard in all my life. On the last day when we were all rolling around, hungover
and sad and delirious and drunk I laughed so much that i ran out of breath and my laughter from then on had to
progress to a whole new pitch (an octave higher F.Y.I) so that I could keep on living!!!
The people were just fab, and yes some people were giant, foolish arseholes but more the fun to laugh and them and not
take anything they said seriously.
On the first day, the first person I met was my new Italian housemate...Martha and we hit it off straight away - on the bus
after we pickedup her keys. She was a lovley, gorgeously funny one...one of our conversations, her thick Rome accent..Me, as me:

Me: Argh. I miss my Sundays my bacon sarnie, tea, T4 warm, snuggly combo..I love Sunday mornings, lazy mornings.
[pause]
Martha: ...I like to fuck in de mornings.

Me: [hystericallaughter]

Martha: With a big blackman..you know?

Classic.

Allegra (Sparkles), Tony (Eye of The Geordie or Cheryl), Gavin (Sprinkles or Lady Gav Gav), Jenny (sunshine),
Henry, Aussie Harriet, Shereen, Calla,Amy,'screwed over by wanker with girlfriend but gettin'very lucky on the last night' Steph,
Ariana,Grace, Blaire, Martha, Simon...awww, they all made it special. I cant explain the feeling of being up there.
I think part of it was the shared pain and suffering in the first week and a half that we all went through, that bonded us.
Awww, very vomity-sounding I know and Its hard to explain the whole experience. Mc Lovin..or at least Chris, the actor from LA who played that character in 'Superbad'was up for the whole festival and bizarrely we ended up at his houseparty. There were a whole bunch of old hollywood screenplays that I guess he'd been offered parts in sat on the shelf behind the toilet and Lady GavGav would keep sneaking into their to read a bit here and there. 'Hamlet 2' was one of the scripts.How pretentious to bring them with you all the way to Scotland and place them in the most communual place possible!One of the cast of Shameless (the gay, druggie gangster one)kept flirting with me in the most intense, slightly terrifying way..'hey.hey.hey alrwriite..when you gonna come see my show.you should come and then wellgo for a drink after.yeh? Yeh? You gonna come see it? Yeh?'The play, for the record was terrible..maybe the worst one I saw at the whole festival?!Highlights were: 'Serate Bastarde: Bastard Nights' a political satire by an Italian company who, disgustingly protested at the apparent uncleanliness of the backstage of the theatre by pissing repeatedly into plastic cups. Classy. The show included a really uncomfortable-to-watch X Factor spoof about a Burns Victim Beauty pagent. Also they gave out sachets of 'Silvio Berllisconi's sperm' to the audience and then the cast poured a vat of this apparent Presidential spunk into a paddling pool and they all proceeded to writhe around in said Medditeranean spunk, screming 'Oh, Sivio!!!' at the top of their lungs. Very bizarre.'The Dandelion's story' was a massive highlight. It was a traditional Korean fable about a doggy poo. This poor poo is miserable because everyone in the field is calling her disgusting and ugly and useless and she starts to realise that she id pointless, her life has no meaning and she is ugly and worthless. It was amazing...just the facial expressions of the woman playing the poo. I actually welled up..it was such a beautiful piece of theatre..gorgoeous set and costumes, great cast. You just felt the commitment of everyone involved..so professional and passionated. They had another show on called 'Mong Yong: a love in dream' which was an entirely different vibe...about a husband who dies but the wife cant let go of him...such an intense atmosphere created that you can never describe or recreate. the beauty of theatre I guess.I got half a glass of semi-skimmed milk poured down my dress during� a hilarious comedy show..as the comedian/actor proceeded to milk a fucking ironing biard on stage (2 onions were the udders and a pair of tights the cow 'scrotum skin'? 'teat skin'? No, must be udder skin!..Then he climbed into the audience screaming: 'Drink it! Drink the milk!' Poured it right down my cleavage as I tried to drink it out the glass he had it in ..I was laughing so hard that tears started rolling down my cheeks and I could breathe (the trickling milk didn't help!)I took no photographs and was no longer on the
facebook so in the week after getting back I saw no photos and only sent texts to people so it was kinda like it had never happened,
the whole thing. The final night party was awesome..it did, however evolve into the messiest pseudo-orgy by the end.
There was unexpected Cross-dressing, girls snogging other girls with NO irony, slightly attractive
(the only single non-teenaged border-line attractive member of staff) Adam snogging 47 year old manager woman and having sex with
her in a wardrobe then later snogging the face of glorious gay Henry ! For some reason many people have expressed mild suprise at the fact that I did not 'meet' any stunning dudes during my jaunt in beautiful Edinburgh-city. 'Meet' meaning fling or potential 'LOML' - Love of My Life haha. Just chance innit. Most of the guys were at least 5 years younger than me and, not that I would never go for a (slightly) younger man but there was no flirtation/attraction there. Well, I lie slighlty. There was one particular boy..and I say boy, because he was still officially a teenage..19! Shudder..well the thing was if I had met him when I was the same age as him., he would have been PERFECT for me! Funny..back when I though a sarcastic, smart-arse sense of humour WAS the sexiest thing ever..5 years since have allowed me to evolve to look for other more mature attribues such as a great body and massive penis. Hahahha. Anyway if he had� been older and looked a bit older (though I look quite young so we looked a similar age) then he coulda been a guy I 'met' in Edinburgh! Was cute though, on the hungover skiving final day, he was saying what he would rate me, jenny and Sparkles in attractivness, he told me my rating and said 'yeh, you're hot, I would' and we locked eye contact for� a few seconds too long and all I could do was an extremely flirtatious smile and continue the charged-yet-awkward eyecontact for a bit longer. I must admit I felt a little flushed! hahaha Teenage kicks, eh..nice to re-live!And I (only really remembered in flashback form the next day in
our hung-over pub de-briefing session) was, and I quote, 'snogging the face off a guy in a green shirt'. Through the magic of the background of
many a facebook background snoop (back on it cos I was felt like I was missing out on stuff..and I was..half my Acting Group shot a short film in the time I had
my Ostrich head burried in Edinburgh and away from social network world..ooo, and its good when you fancy a boy (snigger), because you can send ill-advised Pinot
Grigio-influenced private messages at any hour of the day).

I love those morning-after things where everyone gathers and reminisces, through a thick hung-over haze about the epic or not-so-epic
night before. it's so much nicer than those miserable mornings when you wake up disgustingly hungover, like a dried-out, sea-horsey little husk of a person,
alone, to struggle through the small bit of depressed-Sundayness of it all. All gthe gossip was deciphered, like a Sexy Nancy Drew session!! I still miss Edinburgh,
a month later..but I know that I'll see loads of the amazing people again. Especially Sparkles and Tony! With Sparkles, real name Allegra I felt like she was a rare
girl..I seemed to have that great love of acting a bit of a fool (at least before Edinburgh, hit it off better, quicker with blokes)..she'd be a great best friend...
if I had a Best Friend..maybe I should get one. It'd be a right laugh. I'd have a ready-made Maid-of-Honour...x

12:46 a.m. - 2009-10-12

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