warmlove's Diaryland
Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Connection and Cheap Gothic Chic for Chics
*i'm a realist, i'm a romantic/ I'm an indecisive piece of shit*
I am in the worst, most challenging, difficult, intense financial situation, nay, crisis at present. I have maxed out my 900 quid overdraft...I owe the DLR Penalty Fare people �40 from not having a train ticket a month ago, I owe housemate Steve �60 for a phone bill, I haven't paid my gas or electricity for a couple of months, I owe Sophie �60 and rent is due in less than 4 weeks, I am only contracted to work 8 hrs a week at my new job OASIS (never in a trillion years though I'd go back to working in a shop, choosing retail-numbness over working as a slightly-bitter Script Supervisor in the moovies!! But I'm happy as a Chimp on Tea)
But since I've let my diary-writing slip over the past year (must be all the London-flavoured activities and bleak periods of grotty mayonnaise-less unemployment that distracts me)..there have been cooler happy-causing events beyond a week full of extra curricular tat and new job-ness. I was (mentioned him briefly...always a curse I find) meetin' up with(aka 'going on several dates with if your a cringe like Scots-Heather)my friend Camise's friend (who I thought I shouldn't be meeting up with cos she used to/really deep down likes him..though I changed my tune when she convinced me otherwise). It was kinda one of those 'He's attractive, but I don't instantly fancy him..Okay banter (to coin another cring-ism!)..but I didnt feel mountains of chemistry. Anyway I'd resolved myself to see where it went, though it was a slow thing if you know what I mean so it was feeling like a friendship starting up which was all I want with him if I'm honest. No biggie. Though, being a bit rude, I kinda forgot to reply to a text he sent, vaguely asking if I was free to meet up soon. It was a week ago that I forgot, then didn't reply when i remembered to this 'whatcha upto this weekend' style-text, and it also, crucially, coincided with a text of the same genre from FLAME TWIDDLING BOY. "HMMM!" I hear you cry (or, erm, mumble) "Who, prey-tell is FIRE-TWIDDLING BOY?"
Hahha (!) ...Ah, now that is a long-ish story! But, it would not be my journal of sunny-days, ramblings and stories of short-lived 'hot guys' (ugh, I'm such a parody of myself, I might be sick all over my cute new 75% reduced Oasis by Liberty dress. Ugh)if I did not tell-of-it A-level essay stylie. Friday..finished work in the Canary Wharf-ness and text ex-hot guy Marc (from the 50's night where I (and mainly Sophie, who i love dearly) totally mis-read flirting signs he was giving off. Anyway, since then he's become a good friend and i have realized that I don't fancy him now (his penchant for slightly timid-looking 19 year olds nonewithstanding) I know him a bit better and I wouldn't want anything to happen between us now anyway. I met up with him and his housemates/mate/mate of housemate in some allegedyly cheap Fleet-Streety pub and we ended up inevitabily doing some street 'n bus can-drinking on the way to the late-night Shadwell pubs...big fun yadda. yadda. cupcake. Weirdly, at East London's skankiest, pseudo-American McDonalds Drive-thru one of Marc's friends, when I mentioned to him (or he guessed) that I used to like Marc, that he was sure that Marc would be really interested in me if he knew that I fancied him (which he did)....That, for some weird reason, made me feel really good!! Dunno why, its not that I'm after him or anything...I guess its just nice for the old ego for people to think your a bit of a catch (OMG that was the 3rd 'gayest' thing I've ever typed)...Anyway, I am getting to some kinda point where 'FIRE-TWIDDLING BOY' makes his grand entrance. Basically, i had a fun Friday out in crack-den central, not planning to try and pull some not-that-great bloke like a total tit which was so great after a couple of depressing nights out and hating my mere excistence 6 weeks ago!!
Saturday. Endured the tensest 4 fucking hour car journey with Mama, Pops, Sister 1, Sister 2, Sister 3 and a tiny car full of their (in this pink-fluffy lamp hoarders' opinion) worldly possessions doing the ole University-campus drop-off trip. They were all so nervous that anything I said, including, frankly, some very sound cheap cooking tips a la Lidl Cornbeef hash-pie, were greeting with a very sisterly: "FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! YOUR NOT HELPING JUST SHUT-UP, SHUT-UP..DONT YOU DARE FUCKING COME INTO THE ADMISSIONS WITH ME! SHUTTHEFUCKUP". Charming. Todays teenage generation jist donts 'preciate nuffin. The cunts.
I got home late from that lil trip around the city cos me and the Mom were faffing around examining everyone's wet rooms and kitchen supplies. I was out that night at housemates ex-bands gig with his girlfriend and some other Waifs and Strays who i discovered in our house clasping mugs of near-lambrini . I had to scoff down some noodles that I promptly managed to spill down my sexy little outfit I'd slung on while downing my share of the Costcutter Blossom Hill (I made an old stiff-lurexy'funeral' skirt into a black, halter-neck top don't ask)..I half-curled my hair and was literally dragged out the house cos we were late, and the band had already gone on.
I was a bit trepidatious (if that's a word) about the gig because, as good as the band are, the last time I went to see them it was with Andrew and some of his friends and I had a pretty shit night..you know when you hate what your wearing and don't feel that your having any fun even though all the right ingredients are there...Plus I felt weird being there when the housemate who I knew most of the band through wasn't there so it was weird that I was there with my friends. Anyway, this Saturday we were mainly sat outside drinking...there were lots of nice strangers who I was chatting to and housemates Uni mate who I've met a few times was there and I was sat near him. A dude who, I found out later, was his housemate, came and sat with us. Instantly, there was something really attractive about his face to me (not in an obvious, aw he's cute way..he had a ridiculous mustache that his house-mate was forcing him to grow) just, a good vibe. Anyway, without resorting to Cathedral City-Oozing cliche, we had a really good night just talking, discovering loads of stuff in common: being superb liars for a start ( when Heather arrived late..we convinced her that we both went to the same Primary School and she still believes it to this day. And bonding over Acting, Drama school bullshit..(I do bore strangers on most nights out with my tales of a idiotic, Life-long desire/need to act..I'M AN EMBARRASSMENT...I KNOW), and obviously, like anyone with a soul he cant watch 'The Land before Time' without feeling suicidal also. Basically we have very similar senses of humour, which to me is a terrible thing in disguise as 'perfection'..if you are specific enough to find my kinda funny, funny..I'm probably gonna end up finding you very attractive indeed. (Consider that my past year has included going out with the idiot boy who said, with straight ('boring') face regarding the London Bridge/Borough Market area and I quote: 'God, it's weird round here. There'll be weirdos here.') and you understand the gold-dust-ness of a shared personality thing.
Anyway, later in the gig evening this dude, (who, the next week,when I saw him again yes..TWIDDLED FIRE on the end bits of duvet rope like a cross between juggling and skipping)said the six words that always spell doom when some 'nice young man' (as my Mom would say) says them to me: 'I'm really glad I met you'. Uhoh..Always seems, for me, rather than perhaps a flirtatious statement to lead to all that 'your a cool girl, a cool mate etc'...But, having just known this lovely individual for all of 4 hours..'whatever' or 'aw, what a NICE thing to say' would be the normal response. Anyhoo..me and Hevs ended up at TWIDDLER and my housemates uni mate/ex-fellow dealer's warehouse home that night where they (hilariously) share a weeny bunk-bed in the corner!!Yes, so the usual all-nighter thing happened...music, gross-cheap Bulgarian red wine....
The next week housemates Uni mate was trying to contact me to get me to come help out on a (mucho excitementness!) Frans Ferdinand music video but it was on the same day as my second day at Oasis so I couldn't do it..amyhoo, I passed on my lil 'fancying' of his bunkmate....Uni mate agreed to do some 'Fire twiddling' detective work for me invited me round to theres for drinks that next weekend..I was reluctant to go hopping round there in case Twiddler was soooo not into me in that way and Uni mate had told him how I fancied him..That weekend..spent a most luvly day out and about at the Tate (after I was lost for 3 hrs cos I went to the wrong bloody Tate gallery) with Hamster-Scientist and his mate.....we ended up at slightly intimidatingly posh party in Hampstead that Marc had invited me too...and after talking to a non-intimidating party guest I decided to seize the day, follow the vibes and instincts and go round to see Uni boy and twiddler..obviously Twiddler being the only reason (at 2pm...they were all off their faces on various substances in warehouse-land so i didn't look like weird trying boooty-call girl)Anyhoo..turned up eventually..people eventually started going off to crash-out and UNi mate was all 'im going, i wont be in your way, dont worry' to me and the twiddler. Twiddler asked me my opinions on his mustache (grown as an order from crazy Uni mate...haha) ..I was like: 'dont really like it, you should shave it off if you dont like it' ..He ran off to the bathroom saying 'He (Uni mate) will kill me but there is a good reason for doing this'..he was off for a couple of minutes, then came back, jumped onto the sofa bed and gave me a massive kiss...that was like, the first time I thought, ooh, he might like me a bit too. My massive pattern seems to be: Guy likes me, I'm not feeling it back. I like a guy, he doesn't feel it for me or he is very much Monsieur Le Taken.
Anyway, Him kinda jokinglyish saying...you've only really seen me drunk or stoned or hungover. He was like..I want to be impressive in some way...come and have a meal with me etc... So we texted a bit and he was all do you wanna arrange a meet-up..when are you working? I replied and no further reply...fair enough...then I text him last weekend asking if he wanted to come round cos a bunch of us were staying in at mine to have some drinks...no reply to that..Hmm..then a couple of days later i text him with a little message for Uni mate cos I borrowed one of his T-shirts...no reply to that...no contact at all 2 weeks later and he seemed keen to meet up or whatever..bizarreness..and I genuinely like him...my darling Soph is all 'Forget him. Plenty more fish in the sea. But none of them are biting (the biting part I think was more about her mis fortune on Match.com recently i think). Balls. Its not like I saw him between texts to fuck it up or send out a weird message. I'm probably being a bit melodramatic...He's probably playing the field and I'm the equivalent of Camise's friend to him! Whoops..I thought there was potential and much good banter/bunk-bed kissage was had! Hmmm, I should sleep now.
5:57 p.m. - 2008-10-09
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous - next
|
|
|
|
|
|