warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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I shall be reading the part of 'Worthless Hangover'

*I light a cigarette/I only smoke when I'M WITH YOU/so why am I so nervous/you're just another guy/*
hahhah

Weirdly, after returning home for a few days to my wailing, bitchy-snipey sisters, confirming my new life as a dole-feeder, spending the best part of Saturday in a graveyard and seeing my Dad move over 200 miles away from home I feel well back to happy. Really strange how that happens. Maybe i'd just been in a slump for a coupla months and now I feel better and more refreshed or some shit like that...I'm not beating myself up or constantly reminding myself how drab and shit I am - Most definately not true might I add.

Tommorow I've got an audition!! Haha, sounds so funny putting it like that, but thats what it is...I'm not an actor, you know, but thats what I'm gonna be doing. Its an audition for this college course that I'm not interested in doing but its an AUDITION you know, a change to act/perform in fron t of human people and see if i'm shite, or not so shite AKA dazzling and brilliant! hahah

I should be searching for (have you LOST your MIND!!!??) 9-5ish shop jobs so I can be doing drama,theatrey stuff in preparation for applying to the Drama schools!!! It must sound sooooo off-the-chart crazy to people and friends who havent really known about my love of acting! But, hey-ho! You've got to chase what you want, what'll make you smile in the mornings and feel even a medium sized shred of excitement at some point during your working day/life!!!!

i'm out on a cute girls night out on Friday (I haven't been on one of those for a looo-ooong time..to many blokey-unisex drinkey-seshes of late! Should be nice girly-dancey fun. Last weekend was a lil shite cos I tried to do too much with too many people which generally leads to a semi-disappointing end in one of the Whitechapley-Shadwelly grotty-pubs that seem to never shut. I saw bloody live dry sex shows on dirty sofas performed by 2 very keen couples who looked like they'd seen more than their fair share of 'Emmanuelle' video tapes. Ew...Plus, I had unrelated strapless bra, loose pretty red dress issues which distracted me slightly from the leapy hi-jinx...but beardy housemate made us all the BEST sunday afternoon roast the next day..soo yummy, blitzed away all hangoverness. Isn't the absolute WORST thing ever when you haven't had the most fun the night before: its been a mediocre night out at best, but you still have a monster, yukky hangover the next morning to pay for.
After the yummy food, i went to the most gorgeous place in South Loondon: Blackheath Village and met up with a boy...a kinda gorgeous boy I suppose..He's a mate of a friend I met at my friends birthday party a coupla months ago... but I wont call it a date even tho he does like me and I did initiate a slight bit of kissage last party I saw him at..but I'm just relaxed, now..putting no pressure on anything. At first I was concerned cos my friend has known him for ages and I think used to fancy him so i started to step back cos I didnt wanna get in the way of anything and hurt a friend (break the code, you know!!! I believe in codes I guess..Sophies really fallen out with the girl who she used to live with and who was one of her best friends cos this girl went and slept with a guy (one of Sophie's oldest friends who she used to/still does fancy) even though Sophie specifically told her that shed feel really upset if one of her friends did that. Bitch. I'd never do that...so I know that my friends cool with if som ething did happen between me and him...so thus my 'no worries' 'what ever happens happens, no big deal, we'll see' attitude...traalllahhhlah..I have more important things to be thinking about...ie rehearsin' for my lil audition, baby!!!
x

2:50 p.m. - 2008-09-03

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