warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Never look a pervy 50-cent-on-smack lookalike in the eye

*I would go out tonight/but I haven't got a stitch to wee-ear*

The past two weeks have been completely and utterly my own..no work, no chores no appointments..nuffin..
Although, much like a juicy soap there have been some shocking revelations made recently. Well, they have shock value when compared to other events in my undramatic existence, with the possible exception of my frequent altercations with street perverts!(that is my favourite loooong sentence ever!!) Well, (referring back to the 'The Whore-drobe lady named me Cuntinuity' entry of my diary a year and a half ago!!Where I worked on that stressful '911 allegory feature film' ...(a popular sub-genre dontcha know)!in Penzance for the full context!), basically my Cornish friend, Andrew who I saw alot recently in London reported to me that him and the rest of the Cornish PA gang were meeting up so that would mean the cute guy (HGG..Hot Guy with Girlfriend) who I liked too! It was strange because I remember the night after the shoot where me and HGG were drinking truckloads of scrumpy Jack together and much flirtation and illegal bonding occurred (not really against the law..but against the law in the Royal Courts of 'He has a girlfriend'!! We passed out halfway through switching to drinking cans of Stella and James Blunt's dire 'Goodbye my Lover' had come onto the ipod speakers (good time to lose consciousness in any location)..anyway, i'm totally fucking rambling and I have a terrifyingly accurate memory..Anyway that night he gave me some charity wristband that he'd had for ages and said, for some reason, meant a lot to him..Andrew asked me if I had a message to give HGG when they saw him..Andrew pissed me off cos he was all like, 'I'll tell him if he breaksup with his misses (not the girlfriend he had on the shoot) that you'll be waiting for him'..The fucking idiot.. 1) Its been so long and I only knew the guy for a couple of weeks, I'd never be waiting for someone like that to remember the brief flirtation we had and come looking for me after a no doubt very happy relationship He is currently in breaks up! 2) Andrews been with his lovely, lovely girlfriend Anna for 7 years how would he like if someone was told him a girl was waiting for him to break up with her so she could jump his Cornish bones!! and... 3) How pathetic would that make me look!!! ...The point is...It was HGG who carried me up the stairs and put me to bed that night.. (sooo strange, I always thought that id woken up and walked up there drunkenly or that one of the very strong actors had carried me to bed..)ohmygosh..that's quite a sweet ending to that cute evening, I never knew and Andrew tells me that HGG 'couldn't remember' if him and me had fooled around or if anything happened between us that night!!! I know for sure that nothing did!! HGG is such a slut...thats must be what I found attractive!! And, more shockingly, after the shoot HGG and his girlfriend at the time had a big argument when she noticed that one of his wrist bands were missing..he lied and said that he'd lost it but she didn't believe him. He told her that he gave it to me and from that she told him that she'd cheated on him during the shoot...they broke up..weird that I sort of had a part to play in that..what should I feel guilt or just feel used by someone who had no interest in me put perhaps he wanted to upset his girlfriend who he was gonna break-up with soon..Maybe I should have just not cared that he had a girlfriend that night...he didn't and at least I would have satisfied some kind of feeling rather that now looking back on it like it all meant something. I'd rather have only a short bit of happinness (AKA onenightstand..say it quick noone heard!!) and never see them again with someone I really fancied than seeing them occasionally and them not knowing how I felt. But it DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL now because was so long ago but guess that's just another example of my curseness with any guy I feel a quite strong attraction towards!!! If I only slightly to medium like them then it all runs oh-so-smoothly dont you know!! Despite the 'not having anything to do or anywhere to go and no dosh-eroonie anywhere (sob sob)I have been finding activities to occupy my lil self...last weekend was spent helping my mate from that 'Fallout' TV drama I did in October (the one who was quite cute but I found out he had a girlfriend at the beginning so it was never one of 'those' things! Though is is the kinda guy who, although totally happy with his girlfriend-wife-lady will say stuff like: 'If I were single then I'd sleep with you.'!! (hmm, maybe thats a strange thing to say in retrospect but I suppose its a back-handed compliment!?) Anyhoo, he was directing this little experiemental-ish short film (shot only in close-ups of feet, hands touching, gestures, props..but no full CU's of faces...it was about a guy who gets a call from his ex-girlfriend when he's in the middle of a romantic evening with his current girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend is terminally ill and tonight is the night she's decided to commit suicide. So he goes over there to be with her as she dies. I donated my beautiful basement bedroom for the set for day 2 and it all went really well. It was cool to be working in a totally stress-free way and with good people..the camera guy on that said he'd do my short film that I'm writing and that I'm gonna direct (I'm sure that he'd be good on his word and great to work with but its mainly down to me actually finishing the script)....Its been an on-and-off year in the writing and major procrastination..but I feel more inspired to write and determined to see it through than ever! Yay

Friday night was a great night out..the director dude and his girlfriend are leaving the country to go travelling around the world so me and FT2 Deloris (Van Cartier) who worked with him and is a slightly less annoying version of June Sarpong..love her as I do.. went to their leaving do...the second place we went was this bar near Holborn with waaaay over-priced, yet yummy cocktails and a woman (who looked about 15 years old, but with the face of a Russian 30 year-old!) did this great burlesque show..using velvet ropes from the high ceiling that she wrapped around her limbs and twisted herself about in..then did other equally cool stuff with a suspended hula hoop! The blokes all loved it..it was hilarious! We finished the night in the very grotty Metro club on Oxford Street which played my favourite stuff to dance to..Indie-ness!! Blur, The Smiths, The Killers...nice although evil leaving-the-country-Mike did try and get his friend who I got on pretty well with (he loves all the exact same music I do) who looked like a grungy, less gaunt version of Cillian Murphy..his other friend had the lead singer of TopLoaders hair!! But that has nothing to do with anything really!! Yeh, tried to get me to take him home with me...perhaps he felt like doing a final charitable bit of cupidry before fleeing to Rio? But that was not to be..so strangers in my home sent to me for sexual purposes by intoxicated former floor-runners thankyou!!

A horrible, poor mans 50 cent looking guy in a bullet-proof vest followed me all the way up the main road from the bus stop just now...ugh..I made the giant school-girl error of responding to him when he wolf whistled at me with the , admittedly, not that witty: "Are you whistling at me? Why? Do I look like a dog?"

and with that, contact was made and I couldn't shake him off until I pretended to be going to buy stuff in a shop and then wondered around there for a bit and then when I went to leave he was still standing outside..but I chatted on my phone and ignored him as I left and thankfully he didnt follow me home! I didnt feel threatened but he was irritating, unoriginal, rude and strange...not my favourite characteristics in a stranger following me and hasselling me for personal information! Grrrr

gotta carry on writing my script..its starting to look good and it keeps me off the mean streets and out of the Topshops!

7:01 p.m. - 2008-01-13

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