warmlove's Diaryland Diary

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Whats love got to do with it, Tina?

*The city freeze for/I just realised I don't like you*


Weeee heeeee! We have wrapped the fabulous 'Diagnosis: Superstar' and I have just emerged from a very, very very, very messy pre-wrap party night out with cast and crew...The drink side of the messy involved much yeh-gah-miester (tis how you say it fuck knows about spelling) bought by our lovely first AD, revolting Welsh cider WELSH cider, yes! Dont even get me started on that...its like the concept of happy suicide or something equally wrong together with summat else..there was Fruli and JD and coke there too and other shots...so no suprise when I felt the urge to sleeeeeep for a bit on our bench outside the bar..erm, and then throw-up a little on my white long skirt ... ew! Very strong spliff did not help either...at least I didn't pass out or anything..it was as graceful as discreet vomiting can be...I just dont learn from my drinking mistakes...id only eaten a little plate of rice 'n pasta and (hilariously) Lenny, the caterer gave us a little rotisserie chicken each in a white paper bag...it was sooooo random that I was in hysterics for five minutes and everyone lining up for lunch gave me the odd-looks..oo, and Colin the Runner (there was a sick joke about him being a 'comedy-rapist' who called rape 'suprise sex'....to explain when your with the same people, some with very warped minds day in, day out for the longest 4 weeks of my life that sort of un-funnyness counts as acceptable humour you see!) made me a sausage sandwich that morning with fucking mould on the bread. So sickness was inevitable. I never learn..

The messier side of messy was when one of my mates on the crew said I could stay at his cos it was too late for me to get back cheaply to Hammersmith...We had always got on well in a kind of flirty way..earlier at the pub he was all: 'You'd so sleep with me if I was single...you want me..' in a jokey but serious way, not in a creepy arrogant way..We get back to his flat that he lives in WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND (who was away for a few weeks) and as we watch dodgy late night TV he started stroking the tatoo on my stomach and ...erm tried to take it a lot further, to put it subtle-like!! Well he asked a well crude question..I still cringe now! (blokes are so crap at being subtle! Case in point being something else he said, "Do you want to have a shower with me?...I love having showers with a girl,") My response was, kind of: "No, I have morals now, you know...ive learnt from my mistakes..you dont want to do this either"..in a jokey, tongue-in-cheek but serious kind of way. It was so weird..there were loads of photos of him and his girlfriend hung on the walls above us, how creepy's that? To be honest, it was a little tempting to just go with it, I kind of wanted to .... I wouldn't have been cheating on anyone, he would have obviously but perhaps thats not my problem...

The next morning it wasn't weird or awkward...we just didnt mention it..I borrowed his shorts to wear home on tube because my skirt still bore some evidence from the nausea of the night before...nice..I'll see everyone at Tuesdays wrap party which'll be fantastic, it'll be so much fun..but I'm still curious about why a guy in a supposedly great, loving relationship would want to 'go there' with me. Maybe we do all WANT WHAT WE CANT HAVE!!! Apparently though, Nik camera..this dude from Glasgow on the film, likes me..he wouldnt be a cheating love rat but I conviniently dont really fancy him...its prob mainly his personality..a smidge too serious and prone to unamusing campness and impromptu, aggressive shoulder massaging...The sound dudes (one of them is my above-mentioned love rat by the way) were going on, down the pub that I should go off and shag Nik at the wrap party..I protested but they acted like it were my fate; innapropriate bound-to-backfire when you end up working with them on the next film-sex is apparently a wrap party staple. I don't think I'm charmed by that prospect - plus, if I have to wake up the morning after with anyone, I'd rather it be someone I'd actually want to spend the day with them, rather than run away and hide from!!! Woo! Good to get that stuff out..Do I have a sign on my forehead that says: Hey, guys with girlfriends! Come confuse me with your inappropriate advances, you big teases, you!?

Anyway, i'm back in village-countryland and I've got to prepare for what could be a life changing interview..fuck..I have to taken 6 photographs that tell a story, giving particular thought to have it relates to my chosen field. It's good the shoot ended when it did cos the DOP had started talking to me like I was stupid and giving me an increasing amount to attitude when i'm just trying to do my fucking job..wanker. Shit, I hope I havent fucked up the continuity loads on 'Superstar'... I worked my ass off but I am just on girl..one girl in need of hair straighten-age..bouffant is back..and that aint good. But I suppose boufant is the home-wreckers hairstyle of choice these days! Oh, how I laugh..and cry

11:31 p.m. - 2007-07-22

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