warmlove's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three days of unfortunate Bus Chat-ups: Beautiful men, however, you're more than welcome! # I love it when you call/but you never call at all/Aa-whoh-oh # Ugh. Three days in a row I have had to deal with men (all old, short, balding or a combination of at least two of those qualities) have approached me and asked me either for my number, my marital status or unvited me to their Christmas party with a lecherous glint in their eye(s). The first guy (" Maybe we could go to dinner...so when am I going to hear from you??") seemed sooooo much older than me, I thought he couldn't be serious. I took his number cos at the time it seemed easier than just saying no thanks when he would have asked why and all that shit. In the past I have been accused of being to picky or having too high standards or whatever (not true) but my criteria at that time was simply: Would I want to one day have sex with this little man and would he even be someone I'd use a strawberry face-pack, mascara and put together a nicely accesorized outfit for and be excited at dining with? Hell No! Is That too much to ask!!! I laughed/almost cried when this happened 3 days in a fucking row! I was out on the second day of the Bus Come-ons (the third guy(s)was(were) a chat-up, but the second and first were come-ons) with a bunch of 'Wings' people in this cool bar called Motion on the South Bank and I was telling someone about my 2 cringe-worthy Bus encounters (I shudder when I think of guy number one siddling up to me and uttering the fucking Hollyoaks (or summat) cliche: " I was hoping you'd sit next to me..." anyway, he said, after I told him the conclusion I had come to was that I must be pretty ugly if noone I find physically attractive (aka Older, shorter, pervvier men)ever seems to approach me. He said that a lot of models in New York find that they're single a lot because men are intimidated by them....I made the pretty self-evident point that I am not a model!! Or intimidating...I swear I smile, and make conversation with nice strangers in bars. They dared me to ask these two Bouncer-build City types in suits who were boozing in the bar if they were a gay couple! I did, obviously, not using that question as an opener! It was funny but I ended up getting stuck chatting to them for about 5 minutes. Kirsty and her friend Serena kinda crashed the Freemantle Media Christmas party that was in a roped-off corner of the bar (those girls can DANCE, man, its incredible!...I continued doing a bit of swing dancing with some american guy whos' instructions were: "Keep it loose now, keep loose". I joined them at the crashed party a little later, talked to some Freemantle (quite a famous media company I think)yuppy-types, one offered me a 25K job as Continuity but, alas it was a party conversation joke and nothing else...I got a free Corona though so it aint all bad! I was out with actor Henry the other night (I drank beer God Damn it!, even after my Cousin/Uncle who I havent seen for years, announced on seeing me again: 'You've got fat...The Phillips'are fat (my Mum is a bloody size 8, I'm a 12!)' Then he gave me loadsa fanfuckingtastic advise like 'Dont eat white Pitta bread, its starth, don't drink beer, dont eat carbs after 6...' I did say...trying to provide him with a hook to get out of hot water, or to give him with a tactful get-out...'But, hey, I'm not ugly fat, obese am I?' and Cousin/Uncle goes: 'It Doesn't matter, fat is fat.' Anyway, out with Henry, eating as much fucking white pitta bread dunked in beer only at 18.01 onwards, his 'Partner' (he's not gay, thats just how he refers to the woman, his girl-friend whom is is in a long-term relationship with!!) is Pregnant....how sweet, I found out 2 days after I saw Naomi's SON, yeh, her son, Oliver for the first time so I was like: 'AWWWWWWWWW, so sweet, other peoples lives becoming more important or more serious, with more at stake in a way....' Henry said that he referred to me , to his fellow cast-mates (He's in 'The Hound of The Baskervilles' as Sherlock Holmes at the moment)as 'very attractive....but completely crazy'. I dont know if I'd agree with either of those things but they are two lovely compliments if ya think about it. Oh, and Pictionary is back!, I stuck my nose up at it when it was suggested at Soph's friend Becca's party by the posh Cambridge Uni girl the other day, but a few glugs of mulled wine later....my Team Dildo, (well, I considered myself the captain cos I have a well disguised, very large ego) we failed miserably at recognising 'conservatory door' from my swiggly, wiggly drawing of a hand pushing air. On another topic, I'm 22 and I really want the new lush Sylvanian Families set with the fucking house boat for Christmas! Thats normal, aint it? Ooo, and I thought that I had this fucking amazing idea for an Edinburgh Fringe Festival half-hour show centering around the Pop Culture impact of Britney Spears, newly separated from Kevin Federline(K-Fed to his 6 fans) seven-day bender with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, flashing to paparatzzi her no knickers as she climbed into many a car...I had an idea and it was awesome in my head...but I got in front of computer keyboard, began to type and nothing came out (totally writer constipation I have, I ALWAYS have it, thats why I rarely achieve anything on my own. Plus I really think I should go to Drama School or do a course to do with Continuity where you get real jobs as part of it. If I boil my life at the moment down to its basics then I would say: My Dream is (and I love it more than anything and I want to do it so, so much) to Act and to Direct films and TV. Debenhams is gay and I couldn't care less about it than if it were Bus Come-on Guy number Two naked, straddling Bus Chat-Up number One ( For the record I told Bus Chat-up guy number 3 that I was a Mormon (with the straightest face of my life, I am a BORN actress!) so I couldn't go to ANY parties...he bought it and then mumbled: '...So you must lead a good life then') I want an all time love....cos nothing else is goooooooooood enough. That last one was my channeling Mr. Will Young 'All time Love'from the album Keep On (2006), I haven't lost it quite yet... but if there is a Bus Come-on number four tommorow I will have to start wishing for Pop Ballads by X Factor winners to come true: Bring on the fucking warblings of Shayne Ward...he's slightly gorgeous actually, despite the Pop-puppet Ballads and something about him reminds me of one of the most attractive blokes I've ever known in real life. He shall never be mine though, because the fates have constructed to keep us apart..oh, and unsuprisingly he already has a girlfriend on the payroll. X 9:46 p.m. - 2006-12-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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