warmlove's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The 'Whoredrobe' lady dubbed me 'Cuntinuity' #Ohhhhh/Watching the people get leiry/It's not very pretty I tell thee# I cannot believe the shit whats gone down over the past two weeks!' I Predict a Riot' by those Kaisers became the official tune-everyone-was-humming-sponsor song, appropriately. I innocently checked out an ad on my film work website, saying Urgent! we need a Script Supervisor down in Cornwall for our film for two weeks. So I assume its some student, short film about a mans mid-life crisis, expenses only dealie. But No, turns out its a proper feature film, with proper catering truck, 100 page script, the whole hooplah. So I take the 6 1/2 hour train down to Cornwall, clutching me Continuity folder, hoping that I'm not gonna turn up at this place with Bill Murray in the corner, rehearsing his lines and twenty people asking me about whether Reese Witherspoon sipped her coke before or after her Childhood trauma monologue. Long story short: Two people were fired by day 3, We had a mountain of pot in the Production Assistant bedroom, The film was threatened to be closed down about 3 times, I got screamed at by the Director for not being respectful or profesional (total B/S), The whole cast and crew took the piss out of one of the lead actors whose performance of being beaten to death by baseball bat was best described as "quietly and calmly orgasmic". I was cast as a Maid/Whore for one scene, but cut out (Bastards!).The 1st Assistant Director stormed off set before we wrapped, calling the DOP: "A stupid cunt who needs to fucking grow up and sort his fucking life out." The same 1st AD sent his 2nd AD off to Newquay to buy everyone some (legal) ecstacy, after work 1st AD massaged the make-up designer in just her knickers, I had the worlds' worst timed luchtime micro water fight with someone, getting caught by the Director and his wife (the executive producer), the stills photographer 'accidently' got stoned before breakfast, the Producer was sleeping with the DOP and there was mega-whopper tension and arguments in front of the cast and crew. I was, of course double stressed cos I'd never been the Script Supervisor/Continuity on a fucking Feature Film! I thought that it would be years before I got that chance. I think that I rose to the occasion. The lead actress said to me that she thought I was a really experienced Continuity Person..I blagged it majorly, baby! But I had to work my (slightly smaller now) ass off and I was soooo stressed I couldn't eat or breathe sometimes! Despite all the Big Brother-esque drama, all the people were great and I've learnt that however in much good humoured, self deprecating spirit your Director is, it never, ever pays to tell him that he reminds you of a cross between David Brent and Jeremey Beadle!! That provoked the previously mentioned getting screamed at two days later. Oh, and the (as I put it) 'emotionally scarred Runner' I talked about a couple of weeks ago was working on this film too! What a coincidence I thought! I got to understand him a bit better and the CU sight of him leaving the bathroom in nothing but Black Y-fronts and a toothpaste stain probably aided that bonding! And of course no film experience for me would be complete without the token attractive male with girlfriend to 'accidently' flirt with. What is it with that?! I'm not one of THOSE people. I wasn't even aware that I was flirting (serious, I'm not that good at it) until the (sleeping with the cinematographer) Producer goes "Oooo, I see you're always flirting with thingymabob...." and my PA buddy agreed with her, so I'm all: "No, I'm not interested, he HAS a g/friend..." (Check me out with me moral compass, and the like!) Maybe its cos he was a pretty funny person, and I dared laugh at him! Who knows. So I deliberately talked less to him the next day cos it looked bad if everyone thought that I was seriously after him! But then wrap party night (hardly anyone stayed for a party actually cos people were a little pissed off by the end situation: Big argument between the big cheeses cos our DOP found out that our AD wanted to send his 2nd AD off to get herbal ecstacy during shooting! Resulting in our Ad's 'cunt-filled' tirade during filming before he left with bin bag and suitcase Big Brother stylie) we were on the Scrumpy Jack and just messing around, and at one point, when I lead him out the room by the hand, the focus puller dude shouted: "he has a girlfriend you know!" I was like "No, God, [cringe]I'm not one of THOSE people" to HGG (hot guy with girlfriend) .... * "Hark, yonder Lysander my GBF, I doth spy a 6' 3" HGG across the bar, no good for either of us two mere hetero and homo mortals"* ... and he was like, " [cringe] Yeah, of course, good..." Anyway, all he gave me was a very expensive old make poverty history bracelet he'd had for ages and a hand massage... All intercourse was of a purely non-sexual nature (that phrase means 'just conversation', I have been told since!) so, yes, all conclusive proof that, I'm not one of THOSE people. Ms. Homewrecker is her street name. Thankyou, good to get that off my chest and to set the record straight for any concerned fellow wo-mans! [cringe] So, I'm proud to say that I didn't really have a nervous breakdown over the stress and tension or the disgusting politics of the Biz over the whole most intense two weeks of my life. But I was so angry that the Director yelled at me for not being respectful or profesional..No one else would agree with him in that analysis of me, but its good to learn for the future that you have to tread so delicately with your superiors (everyone)and kind of be a kiss-ass at times! Fucking Politics y'know. Loves it. X 11:08 p.m. - 2006-05-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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